By now many of you have probably heard about the ESPN story that was pulled which didn’t exactly portray Lebron James in a good light. The story, written by Arash Markazi, was posted to ESPNLosAngeles.com last Wednesday only to be pulled down hours later. Markazi “tells it like it is” as he recounts the night he spent partying with Lebron James and his friends in Las Vegas last week outting Lebron for the stuck up, narcisistic, douche bag that he is. I won’t even begin to outline the numerous examples of his douche-baggery, the article itself does that perfectly.

Though the story was quickly pulled, using my great knowledge of the interwebs I dug up a screen capture of the entire article (see below).

Arash Markazi, we here at Hot Like Sauce would like to thank you for not sucking up and publishing a fluff piece with cute anecdotes from a night out with the star. If you lost your job or your job is in jeopardy at ESPN we would like to offer you a position here at Hot Like Sauce. We cannot offer any reimbursement but we will always publish whatever you submit. Seriously, anything.

Arash Markazi thank you; Lebron James fuck you, you giant piece of shit.

The means by which Randy Moss pays his bills.

Reporter: “Write the check yet, Randy?”

Moss: “When you’re rich, you don’t write checks.”

Reporter: “If you don’t write checks, how do you pay these guys?”

Moss: “Straight cash, homey.”

“My style is impetuous, my defense is impregnable, and I’m just ferocious! I want your heart! I want to eat his children! Praise be to Allah!”

- Mike Tyson (referring to Lennox Lewis)

NOTE: Lennox Lewis had no children at the time of this interview.

Full Interview

For the Colts on the other hand, they are in a position that everyone expected them to be in. Led by MVP Peyton Manning, the Colts’ impressive 20-3 win Saturday over the powerful Baltimore Ravens was a big statement. A defense that had all season just done its job rose to the occasion and held the Ravens to just 270 yards of total offense.

This AFC Championship will be will versus strength. It’s hard to say the Jets really belong there, but they are, and now the biggest X-factor will be rookie quarter back Mark Sanchez. If the Jets D plays at a higher level than they did against San Diego then they will be in a position to win. But Sanchez needs to play at with more purpose then he ever has. For the Colts, Peyton Manning will have to work to get the ball to his receivers around the Jet’s Darrelle Revis. Coach Jim Caldwell will need to have his linemen stay late after practice to study up on the Jets defensive front who could be the key to the game. Indianapolis is a better team in the end and if they play like it, a trip to Miami is as sure as another Peyton Manning commercial.

Brett Favre couldn’t have been more perfect against the Cowboys. Favre showed that not only he ages like wine, but that his best is yet to come. A four touchdown performance against a Dallas defense that came into the game ranked second in points per game (allowing 15.6 ppg) and ninth in yards per game (allowing 316 ypg) showed the strength of the Minnesota offense. Favre flexed all his options, hitting Sidney Rice six times for 141 yards and three touchdowns, Visanthe Shiancoe for a late 11 yard touchdown for his only catch and hit veteran Bernard Berrian three times for 32 yard.

Just like the Colts, the New Orleans Saints hit the 13-0 mark hard and fast. But unlike the Colts who chose to lose, the Saints lost a tough Saturday night game back on Dec. 19 to the Cowboys 24-17. The Saints went on to lose two more games to end the season on a three game skid leading into the playoffs. Some wondered if the Saints would be rusty against an Arizona Cardinals team that just came off an overtime victory over the Green Bay Packers in the highest scoring playoff game in NFL history, 51-45. As a matter of fact, the Saints were the opposite of rusty, bashing the Cardinals for 45 points in the Super Dome.

The Vikings and Saints will match up for the most exciting game of the season. Skill versus skill. Ultimately this game will come down to the quarterbacks. The 40-year-old expertise of Brett Favre or the moxy of Drew Brees. Both with tremendous receivers to throw to, but only one will rise to the occasion.

Super Bowl Picks

The Colts win in style 24-14. The smartest man to play quarterback slowly picks apart the Jets defense.

Vikings edge Saints 34-31. Brett Favre is the best off-season accusation of any team and lifts the Vikings to the big game for the first time since 1977.

Colts vs Ravens

X-Factors: Peyton Manning, Ravens O-Line

If the Ravens can control the ball and get an early lead they have a chance to win; but, that doesn’t seem likely because Peyton Manning is on the other team.

Verdict:  Colts Win – 20-17

Chargers vs Jets

X-Factors: Antonio Gates, Jets O-Line

Same story, if the Jets can control the clock and build on an early lead they have a chance to win, but that doesn’t seem likely because they are facing the hottest team in the NFL.  Also, the Chargers have the most explosive offense in the AFC.

Verdict:  Chargers Win – 24-20

Saints vs Cardinals

X-Factors: Too many to count, this game is full of playmakers.

The Cardinals are coming off an impressive showing against the Packers, putting up 45 offensive points against the 2^nd overall defense in the league.  They have arguably the best post season quarterback and receiver of all time.  Their defense is full of game changers, but the odds are against them facing the #1 seed in the NFC.  The Saints have home field advantage and one of the most accurate passers and best leaders around in Drew Brees.  On the other hand, the Saints have an over-hyped defense with only one playmaker, Darren Sharper. Also, they are coming into this game off-sync, losing their last three games.

Verdict:  Cardinals Win – 38-37

Vikings vs Cowboys

X-Factors: Brett Favre, Tony Romo

Where to begin, both quarterbacks are said to have “magic” because they try to make ridiculous throws.  The Cowboys have a better backfield, and yes, I know Adrian Peterson plays for Minnesota, but the coach is too stubborn to use him properly and the offensive line is too big and slow. I like Minnesota’s wide receivers more, but I like the Cowboys defensive backs more;  it’s a true chess match in this game.

Verdict: Cowboys Win – 31-27

Is Mangini next?  I don’t believe so, at least not for now.  Browns owner, Randy Lerner, openly stated that coach Mangini would not be fired during the bye week.  This does not mean that he keeps his job for the remainder of the season or into the off season; but, he is safe for another 2 weeks.

What is the answer?  Who knows…  There is never a quick fix for a debacle like this; but, I believe, the best thing the Browns could do would be to bring someone in who would be in charge of player personnel decisions and oversee all football operations.  Much like the Miami dolphins have done with Bill Parcells.

Favorite possible candidates: Mike Holmgren and Marty Schottenheimer.

However I could see the job going to Bernie Kosar, he was hired as a consultant recently and Lerner has not found a permanent spot for him yet.  The Redskins recently hired a consultant who is now calling plays. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

“It feels great,” said Anderson, “you know, we’ve had some rough games this year and things haven’t always been going our way, but it’s refreshing to see that we can go out and execute when we put our minds to it.”

Anderson was right, things haven’t always been going to the Browns’ way this year. Head Coach Eric Mangini refused to comment on any of their games this season, including the inter-squad scrimmage held last Saturday, in which two teams comprised of Cleveland players went at it for 60 minutes. With 3 seconds left on the clock, the score was 0-0, it all came down to backup kicker Billy Cundiff.

“It was a bad hold,” said Cundiff when defending his miss from 23 yards. “But now our focus is on Chicago this Sunday. We feel optimistic after what happened in practice today. If D.A. can go out and throw like that, I think he could even complete 6 or 7 passes; but enough about records, let’s talk about wins.”

As the players headed in to hit the showers, Hot Like Sauce News caught up with backup quarterback Brady Quinn. He agreed to give us an interview, but insisted that it be off the record. However, taking one for the team, we decided to compromise our journalistic integrity this one time.

“How does it feel to lose your starting job to, statistically, the worst passer in the National Football League?”

“How does it feel? You want to know how it feels?” Quinn responded, “go take your clothes off and [Expletive Removed] [Expletive Removed] cornfield… that’s how it feels. I lost my job to a [Expletive Removed] [Expletive Removed] [Expletive Removed] quarterback who [Expletive Removed] [Expletive Removed] only after he [Expletive Removed] [Expletive Removed]. Basically, I lost my job to [Expletive Removed]. Interview over.”

As he walked towards the locker room, Quinn turned around and shouted one last thing. “[Expletive Removed]” He said.