In a moment that seemed like it would never come, geographers have answered the age-old question: “Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?”
They happened upon the proverbial “holy grail” of cat society; a yarn-ball.
“It fucking sucks up there.” He told us in an exclusive interview.
All in all, crisis averted.
Continuing a string of recent “Political Corrections” which started with the censoring of Mark Twain’s Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, several famous nude sculptures are set to be clothed before being re-opened for public viewing.
World renowned heart surgeon Darrell King made what he referred to as a “rookie mistake” this Saturday when performing a quadruple-bypass.
Accusations out of the suburbs today, as a local man was accused of giving the “worst directions in the history of white people.”
Vigilante Desmond Howl has been arrested and will be tried on numerous counts of Vampire terrorism.
“Canada will be the first nation to land on the moon,” he declared with a socially awkward confidence.
A Mexican man with a sun-worn face and gang-tattooed arms walked into an employment agency in Houston, Texas last week, leaving the drug business behind for brighter horizons.
“God has no last call. Speak to him as needed. Johnny Deuce Motel.”
“Listen here, it’s like if twenty-year-old Mike Tyson challenged old-ass Bernie Madoff to a boxing match. Ain’t no thing.”
David Lightfoot, announced as the world’s youngest baby two-and-a-half seconds ago, has been replaced in his capacity by Vietnam’s Hong-Su Chan.
“Also I hate black people.”
Hot Like Sauce brings it to you first… The Better Business Bureau has officially black-balled the man they call Grimmy.
Kipper’s a soft spoken guy, but he’s the real deal. I think his stats speak for themselves.