Just wanted to give everyone a heads up to tune in Wednesday, April 6th at 10:30PM.

Check out the trailer below.

Some argue that men who “smoke pole” do not have a choice and that it is more of a genetic birthright. The other side of the argument is that it is a choice made in the early stages of adolescence that psychologically adapts a comfort level in one’s head.

Some religions, (not pointing any fingers Catholics) believe it to be childish confusion that can be reversed or “alleviated” by religious healing. Like that sexy ripped black dude from The Shield!

Is it gay if I reference that guy as sexy and ripped you ask? Well that is precisely what this test was developed for.

The instructions are very simple. The test is for men only. (If you are a confused woman seeking advice or counsel, please see the Contact link at the top of the page;)

The video below features one of those women who epitomizes the heterosexual attraction that men feel towards women.

Sexual, emotional, spiritual and sometimes monogamous thoughts will arise when viewing the following clip so it is best to be alone when receiving your newfound discovery.

At the end of the video you will have been tested by the greatest minds that Liechtenstein has to offer, and your confusion will be settled scientifically. So confused men everywhere, your answer awaits…

(I apologize if the aforementioned monogamous thoughts arise, just know she’s mine.)

You’re welcome.

1. Secondhand Lions

   “What do you want me to do? Die of old age?”

2. Remember The Titans

   “This is no democracy. It is a dictatorship. I am the law.”

3. The Sandlot

   “Remember kid, there’s heroes and there’s legends. Heroes get remembered but legends never die, follow your heart kid, and you’ll never go wrong.”

4. The Goonies

   “Hey you guys!”

5. Monty Python And The Holy Grail

   “Oh, but you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.”

6. Rudy

   “Well, you know what my dad always said, having dreams is what makes life tolerable.”

7. Jaws

   “You’re gunna need a bigger boat.”

8. Good Burger

   “Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, can I take your o-o-order.”

9. Airplane

   “This woman has to be gotten to a hospital!”
   “A hospital, what is it?”
   “It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now.”

10. The Pink Panther

    “Right now the killer is being surrounded by a web of deduction, forensic science, and the latest in technology such as two-way radios and e-mail.”

11. Holes

    “You take a bad boy, make him dig holes all day in the hot sun, it turns him into a good boy. That’s our philosophy here at Camp Green Lake.”

12. Back To The Future Trilogy

    “Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”

13. Waking Ned Devine

    “He survived all those storms to be washed away by a few plastic lottery balls.”

14. Elf

    “Buddy the Elf! What’s your favorite color?”

15. Kicking And Screaming

    “I take a vitamin every day. It’s called a steak.”

16. Big

    “I wish I were big.”

17. Hoosiers

    “I know everything there is to know about the greatest game ever invented.”

18. National Treasure

    “Who wants to go down the creepy tunnel inside the tomb first?”

19. The Bad News Bears

    “All we got on this team are a bunch of Jews, spics, niggers, pansies, and a booger-eatin’ moron!”

20. Ghostbusters

    “This job is definitely NOT worth eleven-five a year!”

• I feel like I won’t live a completely fulfilled life if I can’t grow Samuel L. Jackson’s facial hair in Pulp Fiction. Then again, he probably wouldn’t allow it.

• Everyone stop worrying about the world ending in 2012, cause I’ve got the facts.
  December 21st, 2012
  • The Mayan calendar end-date.
  • Samuel Jackson’s birthday.

  If given his powers, would you allow the world to end on such a joyous day? I think not, plain and simple.

Side note: If given the opportunity, dupe as many hot dumb chicks as you can into thinking the world really is ending. Cash in on the “last day of sex” you have, then console said dumb hot chick(s) when the world doesn’t end with “new era” sex. (P.S. Giddy what up!)

Live Like You’re Dying
By: Chuck Palahniuk

In addition to exercising regularly and eating right, I make it a top priority to commit suicide every couple of years. Little girls might dream of the picture-perfect wedding, planning and envisioning the ideal bridal gown and the glorious release of white doves, but since I was little I’ve been planning my supreme self-murder. I’ve edited and honed the tableau: me as corpse with as little mess as possible. Nothing fancy, no shotguns or nooses, no swan dives from high windows of the Chrysler Building.

As a newspaper reporter, I was sent several times every winter to cover the same scene: a family found dead after they’d tried to heat their home by bringing a charcoal barbecue indoors. In each case, the carbon monoxide had suffocated them while they slept, and I’d visit the location with paramedics and police. And those dead nuclear families, Mom and Dad and the kids tucked into their beds, they looked . . . really great. So peaceful. Without any sign of rictus, vomitus, or spasm. Their faces so smooth and relaxed they might still be asleep.

If you ask me, that’s the way to go. I’m probably prejudiced from living in a state where it’s legal to ring down your own curtain, next door to another state where you can choose to die. Sometime I should tell you about being invited to a going-away party where the host drank phenobarbital. I didn’t know a soul there, especially not the host, who was only weeks away from a natural death from colon cancer. A friend of a friend of a friend had phoned me in tears and begged me to escort her, because it seemed bad form and a touch pathetic to show up stag for such an event. It’s amazing, but between Judith Martin and Emily Post and Amy Vanderbilt, no one has covered the etiquette for this situation–what to wear, what to bring as a bread-and-butter gift, how to address the dying stranger. What’s worse is I didn’t know about the Final Exit aspect of the party until the guests were asked to join hands and light candles. This was my blind date with death.

Self-euthanasia is major trend in the making. Each year in the United States, some 26,000 men die by their own hand, including some smarter, braver men than you and me. Hunter S. Thompson. Kurt Cobain. Spalding Gray. David Foster Wallace. These were men of infinite accomplishment, finances, and talent, and we will miss them. But if you’re going to check out, you must first promise to take on a more difficult task. You’ll have to wait 7 days, and in that last week of your life, you’ll have to perform what I glibly refer to as the Three C’s. Don’t worry, the time will fly by. Like the final week at a job you hate, every moment will be gilded with nostalgia and sweetened with the knowledge that you’re a dead man walking. The Ultimate Temp. The game’s almost over, and you’re just running out the clock.

The first C stands for Clean. Clean your bathroom. Clean your car. Do the laundry and scrub the grout. Pull out the refrigerator and wipe behind it. Wash the windows. Do everything. The second C stands for Cull. Ransack your files and discard everything except your most important papers. The same goes for your closets and memorabilia — really, all your possessions. If you haven’t looked at it recently, toss it. Donate it. Destroy it. Throw all your history and secrets into the garbage. Do the same with the aged contents of your medicine cabinet and kitchen. Also, spring for a really good haircut. Despite popular superstition, human hair does not grow beyond death, so you might as well look good. Treat yourself. Pamper, pamper, pamper; you have my permission.

Any man will tell you that it’s not the big disasters that finish you. No, given an invasion by hostile space aliens or an attack of flesh-eating zombies, most guys will grab their coats and hats and run out to join the fray. Even a run-of-the-mill earthquake or forest fire constitutes a nice change of pace. Instead, what grinds us down are the parking tickets. The spoiled food in the back of the fridge. The dirty clothes at the bottom of the hamper that haven’t seen daylight since 1995. Once you allow a critical mass of these petty annoyances to collect, you’re sunk.

Regarding Culling, my point is: If you can shave, you can live.

The third C stands for Connect. This means contacting everyone you’ve known and saying something nice. No matter how much you hate them, let go of that bitterness. Identify some aspect of each person, something you’ve secretly admired or envied or coveted, and praise that something. Say how jealous you were of his career or happy marriage or a particular merino wool mock-turtleneck sweater.

Yes, this process feels like a huge humiliation, but what do you have to lose? Forget your self-pity. Forget your anger and defensiveness. Forgive everybody and forgive yourself. In another week they’ll be gazing down into your casket, feeling just awful. So for now, throw them a bone. Give them a break.

Beyond that, fully imagine your death: the cozy warmth, the pleasant wooziness. The sound of your favorite film or music playing in the background. Envision your sparkling bathroom and empty filing cabinets. Then imagine the world without you. The same traffic jams and famines. The same political crap fights and your team never making the playoffs. People will forget you. Everyone will forget you. You’re no Kurt Cobain, so just light your barbecue and toast a marshmallow. . . .

But if you’ve completed the Three C’s, chances are good that you won’t bother. Because by then you’ll be surrounded by friends who now recognize you as a valuable, sensitive guy. Your oven will be clean, your car vacuumed. In the same way you procrastinated on your taxes, you can procrastinate on your death. And, at least for the moment, your hair looks . . . really great.

Now I want to see Alice in Wonderland as much as the next guy, but the fact that film makers have to surrender their creativity is tragic. Maybe they feel as if they’re creating a world unimaginable even in a dream, but they stick with the exact same storyline every crappy movie has ever told. Avatar is every “Cowboys and Indians” movie simply told on a much grander scale, with cool shit to look at.

Popcorn flicks such as these always leave the audience with a warm fuzzy feeling inside after being jerked around for a few hours. Start off with a drastic conflict, begin to resolve said conflict when it gets even worse, then distract dumb audience with love story and tie the whole shit-show together with an epic battle towards the end. Hero bangs heroine, roll credits, thanks for your $13.50.

http://www.briannafrost.com/index2.html

8:00 AM

9:00 AM
Once the girls have provided a 5 course meal served in bed, Dr. Propaganda agrees to judging the contest which turns into an epic foursome.

10:00 AM
After sex, the Dr. disappears by jumping into the water slide that leads from his room to his basement pool. Upon entering the pool area, Will Arnett, Quentin Tarantino and Michael Madsen sit laughing and joking drinking coffee.

10:10 AM
The coffee conversation elevates into a fist fight, Dr. Propaganda is victorious. In return for his mercy, he is cast as Quentin’s ghostwriter, is afforded a cameo in Arrested Development: The Movie, and is the stand-in for Michael Madsen in one of his 29 future endeavors on his imdb.com page.

10:30 AM
Late for his meeting with James Cameron, the Dr. hops aboard his helicopter and flies over to Jim Cameron’s crib.

10:45 AM
Upon his meet and greet with Mr. Cameron, the Dr. remembers how shitty of a film-maker he is. The Dr. precedes to melt his Oscars and other awards with a blowtorch and burn down his house, unfortunately Mr. Cameron is left inside.

11:00 AM
Boarding his helicopter once again, Dr. Propaganda flies to the set of Jackass 3-D and performs stunts with the crew.

11:30 AM
The Jackass crew throws Dr. Propaganda off the movie set for deranged and inappropriate gestures. He proceeds to call them all “pussies”.

12:00 PM
Dr. Propaganda now flies his helicopter to Madison Square Garden where Will Ferrell is performing “Don’t Fear The Reaper” with Blue Oyster Cult. Christopher Walken sits next to the doctor criticizing the lack of cowbell.

1:00PM
Christopher Walken calls up Jeffrey Tambor and Kimbo Slice to have lunch. Lunch is provided by Emeril Lagasse who tells Bill Brasky jokes to the party.

2:00 PM
Check hotlikesauce.com and snicker at the poster of the day.

2:05 PM
Dr. Propaganda gets an angry phone call from Jay-Z threatening to kill him for what he did to Beyonce earlier in the day. The Dr. calms him down and only agrees to fight him if he rap battles the doctor first.

2:30 PM
Arriving at Jay-Z’s mansion, the rap battle ensues. Against all odds, the Dr. overcomes Jay-Z’s unbelievable flow and is announced the winner of the rap battle.

3:00 PM
Jay gives “mad props” to the Dr. They celebrate by tag-teaming Beyonce, but Jay makes eye contact which is strictly forbidden in a devil’s three-way. The Dr. insists that Jay wait in the next room, he regrettably follows orders.

4:00 PM
The Dr. forgives Jay-Z and starts popping bottles of Cristal to make up for his rude behavior. President Obama, Seth Rogan and Alec Baldwin join the party.

4:30 PM
After a heated argument, Dr. Propaganda talks his way into a cameo on 30 Rock, a “regular” in Seth Rogan’s smoking circle and filling the position of Chief of Staff. Let’s face it, Obama never really liked Rahm Emanuel anyways.

5:00 PM
The Dr. is tired, Jessica Alba keeps his bed warm as he goes to accompany her. Jessica Biel begs for an invitation, but no such invitation is provided.

7:00 PM
After a lengthy power-nap, Ms. Alba is unable to move and the doctor exits his bedroom. Jessica Biel waits outside the Dr.’s room only to beg him once again for sexual favors, he lays a devastating pimp smack to her left cheek, then boards his helicopter once again.

7:30 PM
The helicopter pilot, The Pilot informs the doctor that Bono has gotten into a brawl with Lil Wayne, Tom Cruise, R. Kelly, Larry the Cable Guy, Martha Stewart, Nancy Grace, Hillary Clinton, Paris Hilton and Oprah Winfrey. Bono killed them all then suffered a fatal heart attack from the excitement.

8:00 PM
The Dr. arrives at Michael Phelps house and celebrates the celebrity deaths with some “sponsorship-loss” activities.

9:00 PM
Feeling good and well, Dr. Propaganda makes a Taco Bell run with the Olympic medalist and spends well over $200 at the drive-thru window. The bill is free because of the record amount of food ordered, return to Phelps’ crib to indulge while listening to Notorious B.I.G.’s Ready To Die album in full.

10:15 PM
Dr. Propaganda leaves Phelps’ house and returns to his own to reflect on his awesome day. Joe Eszterhas calls the doctor to inform him that he has just auctioned the Dr.’s 8 scripts for $50 million dollars all-in.

10:30 PM
Satisfied with life, the Dr. decides to have sex with Jessica Biel after all the constant nagging, he believes that his public image couldn’t be too negatively affected.

11:30 PM
Dr. Propaganda decides to end the night with a night-cap. He gathers around with the Hot Like Sauce team along with The Ruckus Crew and has drinks listening to “Maggot Brain”. He dozes off reflecting on his awesomeness.

Jessica Biel

Jessica Alba

Jessica Biel

This series is a compilation of some of the best songs ever re-created. Comment if you see any discrepancies, or if you feel your opinion is better than mine (Inevitable).

My Morning Jacket – “Rocket Man”

by Sir Elton John

Cream – “Crossroads”

by Robert Johnson

Cocaine – “Eric Clapton”

by J.J. Cale

The Gourds – “Gin ‘n’ Juice”

by Snoop Dogg

Weezer – “The Weight”

by The Band

This series is a compilation of some of the best songs ever re-created. Comment if you see any discrepancies, or if you feel your opinion is better than mine (Inevitable).

Tool – “No Quarter”

Originally by Led Zeppelin

John Mayer – “Free Fallin’”

Originally by Tom Petty & The Heart Breakers

George Thorogood & The Destroyers – “One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer“

Originally by John Lee Hooker

Dead Kennedys – “I Fought The Law”

Originally by Sonny Curtis & The Crickets

Nyle – “Let Tha Beat Build”

Originally by Lil Wayne

This series is a compilation of some of the best songs ever re-created. Comment if you see any discrepancies, or if you feel your opinion is better than mine (Inevitable).

Rufus Wainwright – “Hallelujah“

by Leonard Cohen

Red Hot Chili Peppers – “Havana Affair”

by The Ramones

Metallica – “Whiskey In The Jar”

by The Dubliners

Sungha Jung & Trace Bundy – “Billy Jean”

by Michael Jackson

Rusted Root – “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”

by The Rolling Stones

This series is a compilation of some of the best songs ever re-created. Comment if you see any discrepancies, or if you feel your opinion is better than mine (Inevitable).

The White Stripes – “Jolene”

by Dolly Parton

Jimi Hendrix – “All Along The Watchtower”

by Bob Dylan

Johnny Cash – “Hurt”

by Nine Inch Nails

Rage Against The Machine – “Maggie’s Farm”

by Bob Dylan

Michael Andrews & Gary Jules – “Mad World”

by Tears for Fears

Haiti only produces shit . . . and earthquakes. This is a video of a Haitian gang, made way before the current crisis in Haiti. It is a joke in and of itself. Fast forward to 35 seconds for one of your new favorite songs…ever. Also, 2:30 is personally my favorite section of this song.

Plain and simple…niggas gotta eat.