8:00 AM
Brianna Frost, Beyonce and Emmanuelle Chriqui (Sloan in Entourage) wake the Dr. insisting he judge a “Who’s Hornier?” contest. This upsets the Dr. who commands he only judge said contest with a full stomach. He returns to sleep.
9:00 AM
Once the girls have provided a 5 course meal served in bed, Dr. Propaganda agrees to judging the contest which turns into an epic foursome.
10:00 AM
After sex, the Dr. disappears by jumping into the water slide that leads from his room to his basement pool. Upon entering the pool area, Will Arnett, Quentin Tarantino and Michael Madsen sit laughing and joking drinking coffee.
10:10 AM
The coffee conversation elevates into a fist fight, Dr. Propaganda is victorious. In return for his mercy, he is cast as Quentin’s ghostwriter, is afforded a cameo in Arrested Development: The Movie, and is the stand-in for Michael Madsen in one of his 29 future endeavors on his imdb.com page.
10:30 AM
Late for his meeting with James Cameron, the Dr. hops aboard his helicopter and flies over to Jim Cameron’s crib.
10:45 AM
Upon his meet and greet with Mr. Cameron, the Dr. remembers how shitty of a film-maker he is. The Dr. precedes to melt his Oscars and other awards with a blowtorch and burn down his house, unfortunately Mr. Cameron is left inside.
11:00 AM
Boarding his helicopter once again, Dr. Propaganda flies to the set of Jackass 3-D and performs stunts with the crew.
11:30 AM
The Jackass crew throws Dr. Propaganda off the movie set for deranged and inappropriate gestures. He proceeds to call them all “pussies”.
12:00 PM
Dr. Propaganda now flies his helicopter to Madison Square Garden where Will Ferrell is performing “Don’t Fear The Reaper” with Blue Oyster Cult. Christopher Walken sits next to the doctor criticizing the lack of cowbell.
1:00PM
Christopher Walken calls up Jeffrey Tambor and Kimbo Slice to have lunch. Lunch is provided by Emeril Lagasse who tells Bill Brasky jokes to the party.
2:00 PM
Check hotlikesauce.com and snicker at the poster of the day.
2:05 PM
Dr. Propaganda gets an angry phone call from Jay-Z threatening to kill him for what he did to Beyonce earlier in the day. The Dr. calms him down and only agrees to fight him if he rap battles the doctor first.
2:30 PM
Arriving at Jay-Z’s mansion, the rap battle ensues. Against all odds, the Dr. overcomes Jay-Z’s unbelievable flow and is announced the winner of the rap battle.
3:00 PM
Jay gives “mad props” to the Dr. They celebrate by tag-teaming Beyonce, but Jay makes eye contact which is strictly forbidden in a devil’s three-way. The Dr. insists that Jay wait in the next room, he regrettably follows orders.
4:00 PM
The Dr. forgives Jay-Z and starts popping bottles of Cristal to make up for his rude behavior. President Obama, Seth Rogan and Alec Baldwin join the party.
4:30 PM
After a heated argument, Dr. Propaganda talks his way into a cameo on 30 Rock, a “regular” in Seth Rogan’s smoking circle and filling the position of Chief of Staff. Let’s face it, Obama never really liked Rahm Emanuel anyways.
5:00 PM
The Dr. is tired, Jessica Alba keeps his bed warm as he goes to accompany her. Jessica Biel begs for an invitation, but no such invitation is provided.
7:00 PM
After a lengthy power-nap, Ms. Alba is unable to move and the doctor exits his bedroom. Jessica Biel waits outside the Dr.’s room only to beg him once again for sexual favors, he lays a devastating pimp smack to her left cheek, then boards his helicopter once again.
7:30 PM
The helicopter pilot, The Pilot informs the doctor that Bono has gotten into a brawl with Lil Wayne, Tom Cruise, R. Kelly, Larry the Cable Guy, Martha Stewart, Nancy Grace, Hillary Clinton, Paris Hilton and Oprah Winfrey. Bono killed them all then suffered a fatal heart attack from the excitement.
8:00 PM
The Dr. arrives at Michael Phelps house and celebrates the celebrity deaths with some “sponsorship-loss” activities.
9:00 PM
Feeling good and well, Dr. Propaganda makes a Taco Bell run with the Olympic medalist and spends well over $200 at the drive-thru window. The bill is free because of the record amount of food ordered, return to Phelps’ crib to indulge while listening to Notorious B.I.G.’s Ready To Die album in full.
10:15 PM
Dr. Propaganda leaves Phelps’ house and returns to his own to reflect on his awesome day. Joe Eszterhas calls the doctor to inform him that he has just auctioned the Dr.’s 8 scripts for $50 million dollars all-in.
10:30 PM
Satisfied with life, the Dr. decides to have sex with Jessica Biel after all the constant nagging, he believes that his public image couldn’t be too negatively affected.
11:30 PM
Dr. Propaganda decides to end the night with a night-cap. He gathers around with the Hot Like Sauce team along with The Ruckus Crew and has drinks listening to “Maggot Brain”. He dozes off reflecting on his awesomeness.
