8:00 AM
“Waking up, feeling good and limber.” My Morning Jacket rocks the Frisbee awake while Jessica Biel—topless—makes him bacon.
9:00 AM
Skee-Ball tournament. Kick Ass.
10:00 AM
Hungry. Tip over arcade gumball machine. Avoid glass. Nom Nom Nom!
11:00 AM
Coffee with Aaron Sorkin and Chuck Palahniuk. As usual, coffee ends in a fist fight. Another Starbucks ban.
12:00 PM
High noon. Time to (ab)use the Frisbee’s second amendment rights. Gunplay in a city park. Moving targets include: Ryan Seacrest, Vanessa Carlton, Yoko Ono , Carl Rove, Lil’ Wayne, Bret Michaels, and Pat Robertson.
1:00 PM
Down time. Everyone has to take time to sleep, rest, bang Jessica Biel.
2:00 PM
Shooting Gladiator 2 with Ridley Scott.
3:00 PM
Banging Jessica Biel in Gladiator costume. Epic win.
4:00 PM
Guitar lesson from Elvis Costello.
5:00 PM
Shower. In grain alcohol.
6:00 PM
Cumulonimbus Frisbee takes some down time to check out HLS.com on his iPad.
7:00 PM
News Corporation board meeting. Tweet: “Rupert Murdoch’s wife is hot!”
8:00 PM
Dinner of wolf and potato vodka.
9:00 PM
Pre-gaming with Karen O.
10:00 PM
Sex with Karen Oooooohhhhoooooo.
11:00 PM
Drinking contest with Bill Brasky and Jim Coyne.
12:00 AM
President Carter joins drinking game! Slam bam! Vodka shots and haymakers to the former president’s mandible.
2:00 AM
Traditional evening drunk sex with wife, Rosario Dawson.
4:00 AM
Waffle House.
