A Victim Impact Statement in the Case Against Lil’ Wayne

A victim impact statement is a written or oral statement made by a victim at the sentencing of a convicted offender. It is a tool used to let the victim make recommendations on sentencing. Basically, to allow the victim have a say in punishment. Seeing as how Lil’ Wayne has been up on all sorts of charges lately, we at Hot Like Sauce would like to make our own written allocution of Mr. Weezy.

The people in the United States have been under assault by a menace that has operated with impunity on our streets for longer than ten years now. The menace in question is an ugly midget-boy named Dwayne Michael Carter. You may know him by his criminal name, Lil’ Wayne. This grimy Louisiana twenty-seven year old has raped our children’s ears with his chart topping, money making pop music, which has been passed off as hip-hop. He is now working on his seventh album called Rebirth that has been delayed more times than Chinese democracy—not the shitty Guns ‘N’ Roses album, the Chinese government have been dragging their feet on implementing the democratic process—and plans to unleash it’s scourge on the population this December. While the law abiding citizens of this great nation will be inside their homes this Christmas listening to real music, we pled the court to ensure that this scalawag be locked away. Additionally, we request that the court turn the lock and throw away the key to the prison recording studio that is. We would like to recommend that the defendant should in his own words “get it how he lives” while he is in prison. Get it in the ass that is. A milli, a milli, a milli, a million times in the ass.