The Bro Code: As Written By Barney Stinson

For those of you who are fans of How I Met Your Mother you are probably familiar with Barney’s Bro Code; however, I feel it is my duty as Barney’s Bro to spread the word and inform all of The Bro Code. Over the course of the next few months I will share excerpts and paraphrased articles so that everyone can conduct themselves as a truly loyal bro. It is my intention to help bros all over the world put aside their differences and strengthen the bonds of brotherhood as Barney Stinson would want. Below you will find the original Declaration of The Bro Code penned by Barnibus Stinson July 4th, 1776.

“When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for Bros to settle a dispute, decent respect to the opinions of Bro-kind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to argue, though prudence says it’s probably a chick. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Bros are created equal — though not necessarily with the same good looks or sense of style — and that they are endowed with certain inalienabl rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of tail. To secure these rights, we present the Bro Code. It is the right of Bros to alter or to abolish it, and to institute a new code, but let’s face it — that’s a lot of work.

Be it here resolved that, henceforth, when and if two gentlemen covet the company of the same wench, the Bro who first calleth dibs on said wench shall be entitled sufferance for such time as it takes to reasonably strike out, or the time it takes sand to fill one half of an hourglass, whichever comes first. At no point is it permissible for a Bro to violate this right and codpiece block his Bro, even if he hath consumed copious quantities of ale.”