“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.”
– Stephen Wright
Jim Lahey (Trailer Park Boys)
Jim Lahey is the drunk trailer park supervisor in the hilarious Canadian mockumentary Trailer Park Boys. Whether he is eating liquor-cicles, filling watermelons with vodka, or just having a “lil drinky-poo”, Lahey is sure to be shitfaced in nearly every episode. Slurring, drooling, and pissing all over himself, his drunken antics are a highlight of the show. Lahey says you “gotta let the liquor do the thinking” which he most definitely does creating some amazing comedy.
Frank “The Tank” Ricard (Old School)
Everyone loves a drunk who has self control and not only lowers his inhibitions but completely loses them. That is exactly what makes Frank such a classic character. One minute he is worrying about shopping at Home Depot and the next he is bonging beers and mimicking a tank. There is nothing better than to witness this transformation at a party; when the responsible DD decides to have “a couple” beers and ends up being carried home. The hilarity of Frank’s antics mixed with the plausibility of them happening on a college campus somewhere, create hilarious scenes including the classic streaking “through the quad to the gymnasium” . . . alone.
Tommy Gavin (Rescue Me)
Not the happiest alcoholic you will find but arguably the most entertaining. Tommy’s rage, grief, and fears mixed with his heavy consumption of Jameson and vodka cause vivid hullucinations and dreams. His constant battle with his problems and the bottle combine to create hullucinations of his dead brother, cousin, co-workers, and even Jesus Christ. Tommy transforms from a dedicated, 1 year clean, AA member to full blown whiskey guzzler with comedy along the way. As if that weren’t enough he convinces the rest of his ex-alcoholic Irish family to forget the meetings and get back on the slosh. His brash, cocky attitude mixed with his love for liquor proves to keep you laughing episode after episode; his drinking may lead to more hilarity, pain, rage, sex, who knows, but it’s always entertaining.
Willie Stokes (Bad Santa)
Perhaps the most vulgar on the list, Willie Stokes is still one of my favorites. This bitter, lonely, snide alcoholic travels from mall to mall as Santa and robs them all. His combination of witty lines and insane behavior will have you laughing the whole movie. Even with all the swearing at the kids, passing out, and banging waitresses you won’t be able to get enough of it.
John “Bluto” Blutarsky (Animal House)
Bluto is the main reason guys join a fraternity; if not, they are douche bags. How can you not love someone who is on their seventh year of college, has a GPA of 0.00, and can chug Jack Daniels. This instantly classic character has inspired numerous dorm posters, the infamous “COLLEGE” shirts, countless toga parties, and food fights in cafeterias everywhere. People dream of his life of pretty much living at college and not actually going to class . . . ever. One could always settle for the Tommy Boy route which all things considered is a close runner-up.
